A Little Humor for a Change

Just for pure insanity, I posted a personal in the Austin Chronicle. Think there is a babe out there for me? [understand that the "Chronicle" readership is a majority combination of left-liberals and non-theist libertarians]

Profile

Education: Deprogrammed
Ethnicity: from the Fatherland of "hops and barley"
Religion: cult member of "The Way"
Political Leanings: Theocratic Anarchist
Neighborhood: about 1000 feet AMSL somewhere on Cat Mountain
City: Austin
Occupation: assist in maintaining "The Matrix"
Have Children: None that I am aware of...
Want Children: like I "want milk?"

Habits

Smoking: Only when on fire
Drinking: When I'm thirsty
Drugs: Only in severe pain

Personality

I get around town via Plasma Coiled Rickshaw
My dietary preferences are any food that will not immediately kill me
I spend my free time doing my level best not to be first in line on the train to the concentration camps
Funniest Thing an ant scratching his balls


Deeper

If you could have a dinner party and invite any 4 people, dead or alive, who'd be coming?: Martin Luther, Friedrich Nietzche, Sir Isaac Newton, Ozzy Osborne

What is your favorite slang expression?: timugdad

What's under your bed?: a black hole [where my socks go]

Quote a line from your favorite movie.: "That tongue thing is amazing!" -- Lincoln Six Echo to Jordan Two Delta in "The Island"

Fill It

I consider myself an open-minded person, but my deal breakers are bestiality and child sacrifice

Design your ideal mate: the brain of Tesla and the body of Raquel Welch

Something I said I'd never do but did anyway was put my hand in the fire

The quickest way to my heart is plasma torch through the sternum The quickest way to my bed is down the hall and to the left And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked edible with no traces of poison

It's Sunday morning at 10 a.m. If I'm not still sleeping, I'm at work

When I die, I believe I will go to the "eternal happy snipe hunting ground"

I wouldn't be who I am if my parents did not have sex

I wouldn't sell a federal reserve note for a billion dollars.

If people are what they eat, Britney Spears is a eggplant